The Closet Edit After 60: Dressing For The Woman I am Now

My Closet Moved to Georgia — My Life Didn't

I’ve written before about my move from California to Georgia in 2020. My husband and I reached a point in our lives where the home we raised our children no longer fit the lives we were living. We were approaching our 60s, empty nesters, and thinking about retirement. We chose our beautiful South Georgia town because it’s where my husband grew up and went to college in the area. His mother was in the state, and that was a driving force behind the decision.

Being an event planner, and owning a PR & Marketing firm in Los Angeles for twenty years meant my schedule was filled with galas, professional conferences and client and venue meetings. Being polished and chic was the goal of the day.

The dresses! Oh, the dresses.

The shoes! Oh yes, the heels. The higher the heels – the closer to heaven.

The jewelry! The bigger and chunkier the better. My hoops loved the life too.

The hair! It was short and sassy just like me.

Below is the old me. The glamazon that I’ll remember fondly.

This gal was living the dream and looking good doing it.

Then we got to Georgia. Well hello small town life. Remember the old show Green Acres? It was literally like that, without being Millionaires. My husband was right back to his country, small-town boyhood ways, and he couldn’t be happier. And there I was with a closet full of glam wear. I felt lost. Like a fish out of water.

My intention was to continue with my career on this side of the country. Covid said “think again honey.” I thought I could keep the dresses and weave them into my current situation. One evening we had dinner at a local restaurant with friends. Perhaps I was feeling melancholy about the old me. I rolled up in a slim-fit, mid-calf leopard print sheath dress with a pair of 4” black wedges. My chunky jewelry finished off my look. I thought I was the cat’s meow. When we arrived, I stood out like a sore thumb. I couldn’t have been more out of place. It was at that moment I realized I needed to dress for the life I had, not the one I left behind.

Why Is It So Damn Hard to Let Go of a Dress

Since my sisters and I were little girls, our parents insisted that we look our best. Dresses were the standard. We weren’t allowed to leave the house if our shoes were scuffed or dirty. There’s something empowering about walking in a room confident that you’ve put your best foot forward. It sends a message that you care about yourself and how you are perceived. I’ll always be grateful to my parents for instilling that in me. I like to think it makes me unforgettable. After all, isn’t that what Coco Chanel was saying all along? That mindset continued throughout my life up until I arrived in Georgia.

The decluttering exercise I implemented before the cross-country move, didn’t include my clothes or shoes. That’s right.  I schlepped them all the way from the West Coast to the East Coast. No regrets! What I didn’t realize at the time was that my new closet was filled with a wardrobe that would never match my new lifestyle.

To say my heart was broken, is an understatement. I stood in my closet and felt like a friend had passed away. Technically that old friend was me. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet.

The voices in my head kept saying “woman, get over it and get rid of the dresses and suits.” Then one day for no reason, I listened. A friend from my gym said she was collecting dresses and shoes for young ladies who needed them. I picked 5 dresses and 5 pairs of shoes and away I went. As I placed them in the trunk of my friend’s car, I ran my fingers over my favorite and said goodbye. Did I cry? Not really. I did sigh deeply, and smiled, with the memory of how much joy that dress had given me. There was also relief that I had finally resigned myself to the fact that it was time to move on and embrace my new life fully.

Over the next few years, I donated a few more dresses. A few more suits. A few more pairs of shoes. Not jewelry though. Because loud jewelry can be worn with a t-shirt and jeans. That quirk about me is never going to change. Someday I’ll be buried in a ridiculous amount of jewelry, and everyone will say – of course she did this. I’ll probably be wearing a hat too. In fact I want all the women who attend my funeral to wear huge, obnoxious hats.

Like my jewelry, I’ll never part with my hats. I am in The South now after all. Like Scarlet O’Hara said “tomorrow is another day” to wear a hat! I sport mine as often as possible. Who’s to say I won’t get invited to The Kentucky Derby. Maybe it will be a Derby Party in town? Y’all hear me when I say, “as God is my witness you can never have enough jewelry or enough hats.”

In all seriousness though, it’s inevitable. Life and growth call for change. How you go about that change is up to you and no one else. Do it at your own pace. Because you are allowed to edit your life however you want without worry what anyone thinks. You’ve earned the right to take your time.

When you are ready, take a few suggestions from the Rebel that went through the process.

Below I’m dressing for the life I live now. I dress for travel, working out and being with friends. Most of the time in comfortable shoes.

Keep It, Question It—or Finally Let It Go

Keep it – there are some things in your wardrobe that will be non-negotiable. The classic and timeless pieces that will take you through any decade. Those are the ones you keep. One of my favorite items of clothing is my white button-down shirt. I’ve worn it with skirts, jeans, shorts…it’s versatile and it’s staying with me. A lot of items from my past have stayed with me. Including a few of those dresses that I’m still holding out hope for. Especially the leopard print one.

Question it – some pieces deserve your consideration. Will I wear it? Won’t I wear it? If you think there’s a chance, keep it for a while longer. It’s not going to hurt anything. There’s nothing worse than an invitation you never expected that requires something special. Then you realize you had the perfect outfit, but you discarded it. Just leave it on stand-by. Something will come up. And if not, get rid of it after a year.

The Rebel’s One Year Rule – If you haven’t worn it in a year, donate it. If you don’t think you’ll wear it a year from now, donate it. If you’re still not sure, go back to Question It. Listen carefully Dear Reader. Some things really need to be relegated to the one-year rule. You know which ones they are.

Maybe I Need to Create the Occasion

You and I both know that we have those fabulous outfits in our closet that we can’t wear every day in retirement. We’re not wearing them to the grocery store. We’re not wearing them to painting class. We’re not wearing them to our volunteering day at the food bank.

You aren't keeping them because you're waiting to become the old you again. You're keeping them because the woman you are now still gets to be glamorous, go somewhere fabulous, and create an occasion worthy of the dress.

How do I practice this philosophy? My husband and I make a point of doing an overnight stay somewhere close by, where we have dinner at restaurant we’ve never tried. We stay at an affordable hotel. It’s a treat to go out of your way to spoil yourself and dress beautifully again.

We live near Savannah and Charleston. We are committed to making this a monthly investment in us. It can be easy to fall into mundane routines when there’s not a schedule anymore. Don’t let yourself fall into patterns that leave out spontaneity. When you get out of your own home, even for the night, it feels special. Consider this a date night. If you’re single, do this with a friend. It’s ok to do it all by yourself too. Find a museum or an art gallery. Get a massage. Go on a tourist hop on hop off. Just make sure to try something you’ve never done before. It keeps it exciting and opens your mind to new experiences. New experiences are good for our brains too!

When I do this I bring out my fabulous outfits, my hats, my big hoop earrings. It’s a celebration that life is still exciting and full of possibilities.

Stop Making Excuses

I still have a few of those dresses hanging in my closet. They’re still there, waiting patiently. For years I thought I was keeping them because I couldn’t let go of the woman I used to be.

I don’t think that anymore.

I’m keeping them because she’s still part of me. She just lives differently now.

These days she wears sneakers more often than four-inch heels. She might wear pearls with a tank top, hoops with jeans, or a fabulous hat simply because it’s Thursday. But every once in a while, she still wants the dress.

So maybe I won’t wait for the invitation.

Maybe I’ll make the reservation. Book the hotel. Buy the theater tickets. Call the girlfriends. Put on the leopard dress and give those big earrings somewhere to go.

Our closets shouldn’t be museums dedicated to the women we used to be. They should make room for the women we are becoming.

Keep what still feels like you. Let go of what doesn’t. And if there’s something fabulous hanging in the back waiting for the “right occasion”…

Create the damn occasion.

With Rebel Love — Jeannie

Has your style changed as your life has changed? What did you keep and what did you finally let go of? Drop your story below — every Rebel's closet edit is different.